Continual Repentance - by The Valley of Vision

10:51 PM Esther 0 Comments

O God of Grace,
Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitute,  
and has imputed his righteousness to my soul,    
clothing me with a bridegroom’s robe,    
deking me with jewels of holiness.

But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;    

my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;    
my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.

I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,    
no loom to weave my own righteousness;
I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
    
and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,    
for thou dost always justify the ungodly;

I am always going into the far country,    
and always returning home as a prodigal,    
always saying, Father, forgive me,    
and thou art always bringing forth the best robe.
Every morning let me wear it,    
every evening return in it,    
go out to the day’s work in it,    
be married in it,    
be wound in death in it,    
stand before the great white throne in it,    
enter heaven in it shining as the sun.

Grant me never to lose sight of    
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,    
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,    
the exceeding glory of Christ,    
the exceeding beauty of holiness,   
the exceeding wonder of grace

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First Post in Forever! - Lent Day 6

9:54 PM Esther 0 Comments


I can't believe it has been 4 years since I last share a post on this blog! Time really does fly. One more year until I graduate! I recently told my younger brother that I hate growing up, I wish I can stay carefree forever; but the truth is, I just celebrated my 24th birthday. What a joke.

Since the start of Lent 2015 last Wednesday, I have been following daily reflections plan for lent on www.shereadstruth.com
Coming on to the 6th day, I realised how this daily reflection is giving me what I really need now in my life - a daily dose of truth. Ever since summer last year, I have been really slacking off in terms of reading the bible and praying. I cannot seem to find any interest in life anymore - every morning I wake up feeling like I just want to stay in bed the whole day and not do anything. I no longer find joy in things that I do or energy to do anything. It is just so sad. If  I have to be honest, I would say I probably have mild depression.

Today's reflection made me realised I am indeed in my desert days. When Jesus was tempted in the desert, He overcame by holding firm unto God's words. As the author said: "The enemy has nothing of worth to offer a soul filled with the truth of God's words. The word of God has the same power in your wilderness. Come close and fast with Jesus, cling to Him and His cross when the Tempter tries to steal your true identity."  How true indeed! In this time of emptiness, I should fill myself with the truth of the living word so I may grow closer to God. This shall be my journey this lent =) It may be tough and I may feel like giving up sometimes but the Lord is with me, and the Holy Spirit shall guide me.

Speaking of the Holy Spirit, I have had an amazing experience the friday before last when I led praise and worship before bible study. Something truly horrible happened that afternoon, and I was emotionally very unstable. I was dubious of whether i am really qualified to lead worship under that spiritual state. I was late for the band practice and things did not go smoothly during the practice as well. At that time I was thinking:" Oh God, I felt so unprepared, this will turn out horribly wrong and I apologise in advance," However, right before the session started, I said a word of prayer and the Holy Spirit prompt me to leave all my worries behind and to just focus on God. Surprisingly, I felt like the session went smoothly and i was able to focus on praising the Lord instead of worrying about how everything will turn out. I experienced first hand on that day that it was never about how prepared i am or how good i am, but it is all about letting God take control and letting the Holy Spirit lead me. No matter in terms of worship or living my life.  =)






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